Agenda: One, Two and Three!!!

Agenda One: the second toe of my right foot got infected. and it's red and swollen. wah! i can't walk straight cause it hurts oh so much! *sobs* hayz! so i'm stuck one place at a time. hope it heals soon! and by soon i mean soon as in tomorrow? hmph. please!?

Agenda Two: just when you least expect something to happen, something unexpected would definitely find its way to you. well, that's what happened to a friend. she's still working things out. if i were in her place i would definitely freak out! imagine, not being able to graduate just because of an honest mistake. one subject which she attended religiously and has fulfilled all requirements for was overlooked and was not enrolled and encoded. what?! you say. she's still working things out and i pray that she does get pass through this. she has worked so hard to tighten loose ends and now this! but maybe it's just a trial and a good reason for it. let's cross our fingers that all will end as it should be.

Agenda Three: i attended the recent eraserheads: the final set concert (thanks super duper my friend who gave me two free tickets as a gift!!!), and it was definitely more than worth it. i tell you, i wasn't really a fan or whatsoever, i just knew some of their songs but as the concert came to a close, well, i was close to being one. hayz. artists inspire fellow artists to aspire. what? haha. anyway, i just love people who have the passion and enthusiasm to create. they pull you and hypnotize you, at the same time, they push you to face the world and just dare! whoo! one more thing...me and my sister thinks that the lead singer definitely has his appeal. haha.

F and R... frustrations and realizations

Instead of writing a report I should be doing, here I am, posting a blog entry instead.

It's like I'm losing vigor at the thought of not being able to accomplish the task. And it's honestly got me into thinking if I should be pursuing this or not.

But I feel I want this and that I want this to be for me. Hayz. I also hope that this might be what God wants for me.

Classes has ended yet my life seems to kick in a bit more. I have not started the so called "resting phase" and I also haven't officially declared the start of the summer! Oh. Yes. I do my own rest! periodsssss... which should not have occured just yet but well it can't be helped, I'm human after all and I also need rest.

Also, since I'm about to enter the world of work sooner than later. It has got me reflecting about a lot of things and issues. For now, I just hope that all goes well. Pray for me. I need it!

*Funny how God works in the most mysterious ways. How he creeps in and just sweeps you away with his unexpected reminders. I was asking a lot of my friends to pray for me these days and one of them replied through text... "ikaw din wg mu kalimutan to pray." As simple as that, God reminded me to prioritize my own prayer time with Him. I was left both a tad guilty but with a smile since I felt loved. For Him to have time to remind me these things when I often can't make time for Him.

writing

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
-Carol Burnett (1936)

*A great quote on writing. So true. People sometimes just give meaning to whatever it is you write and whether they are right or wrong is no longer in the hands of the writer, but on how the words printed are understood.

V-day tomorrow!

Haha. Before my uninteresting comment on V-day, just realized my 100th post was posted on a Friday...not just any other Friday for that matter...but Friday the 13th!!!... creepy...O.o

Well, on to my commentary..haha... Another unspecial V-day coming up. haha. My friends often tease me about being too uninterested with the opposite sex. Hmmm, I wouldn't totally say that I'm 100% uninterested, rather the famous line comes in.."I just don't see it as a priority... yet?" haha. "And anyway, nobody seems to be interested at the moment."

I don't believe in seeking for love... it will come, if it's God's will, it will come. I see myself both ways, and in whatever path I will be chosen to take, I'll be happy as long as I have someone/somebody to care for...=) Since, I'm also a graduating student, my stream of thought lead me into wanting a job wherein I can both do apostolate and be of service.

I'm getting more and more personal nowadays. Don't mind me. Random thoughts are spilling itself everywhere. I'm in danger of being fully revealed. Hahaha.

I want to pour my love unto You!

100th post!!!

Imagine! Reached my 100th post! Haha. Happy 100th post to my blog?!!! Hihi.

Thesis Defense on Tuesday Afternoon. Tuesday is D-day!!! Wah! Please pray for us! Thanks!..^.^

Still tons and piles of work to do... Neverending nga daw, but somehow I feel that when all these end...I'll miss it! Because the end of these things signifies the end of another chapter.

Letting go even if one isn't ready yet is a fact of life.

no longer redeemable.

"Joker is an angel in distress. It was a fatal misunderstanding that led him to assume a body of flesh and blood. He only wanted to share the primate's lot for a few cosmic seconds, but he pulled down the celestial ladder behind him. If no one fetches him now, the biological clock will tick faster and faster, and it will be too late to return to heaven." - Maya, Jostein Gaardner

*make no room for deadly mistakes. it will cost you.

now.

time. precious. irretrievable.

something i realized just a few days ago.

it may seem an elementary philosophy that everyone knows, but truly we take it for granted a bit too much.

i just realized that there are many important things that i should do justice by treating them as such. most of the time, i get out of hand and am out of my senses.

most of the time, i hurt people and pass out opportunities. most of the time, things don't work out well and instead of stopping it at that and standing back up again, i prolong the agony and make things worse. but i resolve to do better and struggle a bit more. kambatte! >.<

*just. now.

just another day.
just another time.
just another second.

just, now.

if things be, i'll hold your hand a little longer.
hug you a little tighter.
laugh a little louder.

just, now.

let me say it's okay.
let me say your right.
let me say i'm sorry straight from my heart.

just, now.

i want to let things be.
forget all the evil.
and smile the tears away.

50 FIRST REACTIONS...

This is called 50 FIRST REACTIONS. Type what comes to your mind FIRST whenever you hear these 50 words. Don't think and don't go back and change. Doesn't matter how random just type it! Repost it for all of your (bored) friends.

1. Beer: not for me..~.~
2. Food: yummy! - i can hear my stomach growl right now. >.<
3. Relationships: waiting. haha.
4. Your CRUSH: none at the moment. i think. O.o
5. Power Rangers: childhood. ako si yellow o si pink?
6. Life: whirlwind.
7. The President: petite
8. Yummy: cantonese!!! haha. and ice cream and... ang dami nila!
9. Cars: want one. hihi.
10. Movie: Sleepless in Seattle. Till now di pa din natutuloy ang panunuod ng dvd with fam. dami aberya. haha.
11. Halloween: ooohhhh..
12. Sex: escapades around me. O.o
13. Religion: Catholic. Now and always. =)
14. Hate: sleepless nights and headaches. -.-
15. Fear: the bleak tomorrow. W.w
16. Marriage: precious and sacred.
17. Blondes: um, their blonde?
18. Slippers: comfy! ;p
19. Shoes: heels..haha. courtesy of my ojtmates. bleh!
20. Asians: i can identify with. hihi.
21. Past time: reading, net, sleeping, eating...haha.
22. One night stand: what?!
23. My Cell Phone: practically practical.
24. Smoke: cough, cough...don't come near...
25. Fantasy: foodlandia...?
26. College: the thesis hurdle. wahk!
27. Highschool Life: few but precious memories..
28. Pajamas: sleepy me. -.-Zzz...
29. Stars: hope.
30. Fitness Center: i might need it some time..but hopefully not.haha.
31. Alcohol: scared to be intoxicated.
32. The word love: smiles.
33. Friends: laughtrip. =)
34. Money: necessity..-.-
35. Heartache: hurts..
36. Time: grasping.
37. Divorce: sad.
38. Dogs: cute.
39. Undies: hmmmm..supposed to be concealed.
40. Parents: gratitude..
41. Babies: kawaii!
42. Ex: wala ko nun.
43. Song: lalalalala...
44. Color: white, blue and red.
45. Weddings: magical.
46. Pizza: sbarro...white.yum.
47. Hangout: uste.lib,thesismate's condo.
48. Restaurant: Napoli's.
49. Goal: case reportssssss... thesis paper and defense.
50. Inspiration: family..and God.~.~

*seems unlikely for me to post something like this. guess i just needed a breather. thesis makes me go crazy right now. haha.

...

those three dots represent how I'm feeling right now.

...

telling me that tomorrow is another unknown day,
that the future may be bleak or bright depending on how you look at it,
that some things are never for long,
the things you want, ending too soon and the things you dread, never seem to end,
that things continue on even without you,
that it is a nice feeling anticpating something,
but also quite frustrating when the waiting is too long,
that there is hope,
that even though tomorrow seems too scary,
the better and only choice is always to move on.


*more days are coming to an end. still more days are coming...

Extreme ends

Crying from the pain of aspiring something,
and crying from having nothing to aspire;
i wonder which is more difficult.

-Takemoto-kun, Honey and Clover Jdrama

*I'm at a crossroads and this line reminded me of my fears and inhibitions...Hay...

Welcome 2009!!!

It's almost the end of yet another year. How time flies. Oh, how it flies.

Still left with the many resolutions made, it is time again to create new ones... The year ahead promises many new things, doors to be unlocked, adventures to take, experiences to unravel, strangers to meet, awaiting and dreading at the same time.

2008: Many last things. Many last things. Many last things. I'll miss it. For sure. But...

2009: Promises even more. Looking forward to a lot of new beginnings.

Happy New Year!!! With a shed of sadness, shadowed with a ton of cheers! =)

After Retreat

...is total haggardness. After being able to recharge, seems like God scheduled the retreat so that we'll have the energy to face the many many tasks ahead. I can't even see the morrow without a task waiting to be hurdled. But it's better than being idle. It's just that I somehow feel I'm gonna get sick any moment now. I'm gonna have to get used to being busy with tasks again. Lol.

...are many realizations here and there. Sole purpose in life is to be able to give the love God gave us back to Him. Have to keep that in mind always.

*God is good. All the time. God is where? Everywhere.* =)

[Mini-corner]

Silently screaming
in the dead of the night.

Waiting and waiting
for the outstretched hand.

Stooped to cringing
in the corner of the world.

In my mini-corner,
I wonder.

I hope.

I hope...

Behind the Mystery...

Ten Top Trivia Tips about Frustratedangel!

1. Frustratedangel has three eyelids!
2. Donald Duck's middle name is frustratedangel!
3. You should always open frustratedangel at least an hour before drinking her.
4. The only Englishman to become frustratedangel was Nicholas Breakspear, who was frustratedangel from 1154 to 1159.
5. Without its lining of frustratedangel, your stomach would digest itself.
6. Until the 1960s, frustratedangel was not allowed to enter Disneyland.
7. Frustratedangel will become gaseous if her temperature rises above -42°C!
8. The Eskimos have over fifty words for frustratedangel!
9. Baskin Robbins once made frustratedangel flavoured ice cream.
10. All shrimp are born as frustratedangel, but gradually mature into females!

I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

*Got this from mia again! Nakaka-aliw...hehe...=)

My Colorgenics Profile

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

The way things are you are under considerable stress and you feel that there is little hope of matters righting themselves. Everyone about you seems to aggravate the problem even more. You feel that at this time you need to be alone and you are right - move back and give yourself a chance to breathe.

Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.

Whatever has caused the situation, you just don't seem to be able to sustain or maintain relationships as you would wish to. What you really seek is to be able to develop a relationship with someone with whom you can truly share: Love, Serenity, Peace and Quiet. But you are a very demanding person and it is your nature that leads to disquiet and discord: you are like the tide, flotsam and jetsam... One minute you experience 'highs' and a few moments later 'lows'. This obviously will introduce discord into any relationship and with this demanding attitude - the ideal state you desire is unable to develop. Despite the urge to gratify your natural desires, you impose a considerable self-restraint on your instincts in the belief that this demonstrates your superiority and raises you above the common herd. You are extremely critical of everything that is presently going on around you and you find it difficult to listen to or to take advice from anyone. You enjoy the original, the ingenious and the subtle.

You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from within a close and harmonious relationship.

Ponder a Moment, Decide and Stick to It.

Make time for the things you really want.

If you don't, expect that nothing will happen.

Prioritize so that you won't get lost and you'll always know where you are going.

*Advices I have been getting lately from people who care. Thanks!

the beauty in loneliness

It's ironic, how most of the time the very thing that causes us pain is the very thing we keep longing for.

I wonder why most people enjoy watching dramas that make them end up crying with puffy eyes, why most people are attracted to sad love songs that let them relive the painful memories of the past, why most people wallow in their pain, in their sorrow and chooses to be so until they can no longer hold themselves together...

What is there in pain? What is there in loneliness?

I wonder if the very essence of pain is to let us appreciate happiness more. If by being lonely we realize that we are not alone after all. If having our visions blurred by tears, we see more clearly the very things we have overlooked many many times.

I wonder and I'll keep wondering the beauty and the comfort loneliness brings. To me. And maybe to a thousand other people.

So for now, I'll still keep searching for good dramas that will keep the tears flowing, I'll keep listening to sad love songs that stir my heart a couple too many times, I'll keep seeking for pain, for sorrow...

And I'll keep smiling through the tears...

10 things I want to say to 10 people

*taken from mia*

Write 10 things that you wanna say to 10 people. Anything you wanna tell them. Basta the rule is, DON'T STATE THEIR NAME.

1. I'm sorry, I have failed you in many different ways. I want to do all these things for you, help me and guide me always. Remind me always that You are the sole reason for my existence.

2. I'll keep trying, no matter how hard, I'll still try. Because I do not like hurting you, because I truly care.

3. It's been really hard accepting everything. I didn't realize that I've been having a hard time forgiving. I hope that I'll slowly have a change of heart. I truly hope that time can heal wounds.

4. I admire you in more ways than you can ever imagine. You have a pure heart and most of the time I wish I had that too.

5. I'm scared for you. I wish that I could shape the world so that you won't get hurt and that you'll understand things better. Just remember, we're always here for you. Always.

6. I wonder what you really think of me. I keep getting deceived by your gentle ways. I hope we could be friends. At least kahit friends lang.

7. I miss you. I've not been such a good friend lately. Missing in action. I know you understand but still I hope I can make it up to you. *hug*

8. I haven't heard from you in a long while. The next time we see each other, hope nothing changes.

9. Thank you. Sometimes, I don't understand your ways, but I'm glad we are what we are. It gets complicated in between, but I'm glad our bond is strong, and I'll want it to keep getting stronger.

10. You never fail to brighten up people's day. I see your struggles but that only makes you all the more admirable. You just don't see it, but your more lovable than you think you are. *hug*

Last sembreak

Time is ticking near. Every second, every minute, gone for good.

My college life is nearing its end, hopefully, should be. My last semestral break, the looming last semester till graduadtion.

Too many things to accomplish still. Too many memories to hold. Too many decisons left unmade.


*I'm in my drama mode. Forgive me for the mushiness.

I was so happy when you smiled
Your smile breaks through the clouds of grey

Far from the sunny days that lie in sleep
Waiting with patience for the spring
When the flowers will bloom renewed again
Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today

Although the scars of yesterday remain
You can keep on living as much as your heart believes

You can't be born again
All though you can change
Let's stay together always

Smile only at me and touch me with those fingers
This simple desire is everlasting

I want things to be simple
Let's finally get across this sea of mournful sorrow

For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart

I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always

For instance, even if today is painful
Someday it will become a warm memory
If you leave everything up to your heart

I understand the meaning our living here
It is to know the joy of having been born
Let's stay together always

*Finished reading Fruits Basket manga...sense of accomplishment...happy ending even though they were all somewhat broken throughout the series. By the way, the lyrics above are from the anime...it leaves a feeling of hope, doesn't it?