Monday, October 31, 2011


Exodus Poem

Kuuki no oto
Mizu no oto
Suna no oto
Watashi no ue o nagare te iku ryuushi no oto
watashi no naka ni nagare te iru chi no oto

Chiisana mono ga dondon tsunagatte ku
Ookiku naru ookina mono ga sarasara kuzure ku
Chiisaku naru. Kieru. Arawareru. Kieru.
Dare mo i nai kokoro no naka ni wa dare mo i nai
Shizu ka de Hiroi
Ippon no ookina ki ga tatteru
Shizuka de hiroi sora to zou gen no ma ni tatteru

Jibun wo yoku miseyo u to suru no wa doushite mainichi ganbatte
Minna ni suka reyo u to suru no wa doushite tsukare ta toki
Hitori ni nari taku naru no wa doushite dareka ni amae tai
Nani ka yawarakai mono ni fure tai
Himitsu wo dare ka ni buchi ake tai
Hontou no jibun wo mi te morai tai
Soretomo mirareta kanai
Mise tai no ni mi rareru no ga kowai
Dakara koishii hontou no jibun wa
Jibun dake ga wakatte ike ba ii.
Saikin sou omou.

English Translation

The sound of air
The sound of water
The sound of sand
The sound of particles flowing above me
The sound of blood running through me

Little things gradually begin to connect
Large things, growing even larger, begin to crumble
Becomes smaller. Disappears. Appears. Disappears.
No one is present; No one is present inside my heart
Quiet and vast
There stands a giant tree
Quiet and vast, between the sky and grassy plain it stands

Why is it that we try and show ourselves in a positive light?
Why is it that we try so hard everyday to have others like us?
Why is that, when people finally like us, we want to be alone?
I want to be spoiled by someone
I want to be drawn to something soft
I want to reveal a secret to someone
I want people to see my true self
Or do I want them to see?
I want people to see, but I am afraid of being seen
Which is why I am sad.
That is what I think.

*Utada United Concert 2006: Before starting her Exodus songs, and during changing outfits, there is a poem that was played. The poem was in Japanese, written by Utada Hikaru, and recited by Utada. Note: The Romaji and Translation may not be exact. (From Wikipedia)

Sunday, October 30, 2011

The "Fear" Factor

The only thing to fear is fear itself.

At this point in my life, several things hold me back or rather that is what I tell myself. It's easy to blame or to use other things/people as an excuse for your inaction. It is a very common defense mechanism; one which I have long overused.

Plans are useless if not put to action. Plans are but hopeless dreams if not put to life. Plans are just that, 'plans' - 'drawings/sketches', a representation of something you wish to achieve if you let fear rule you over.

Fear has lorded over me for the longest time. Just because I let it. Just because I never tried to take that first step. Always having the fear of the inevitable at the back of my mind.

Looking back, those fears, they didn't happen. Why? Because I never took the chance to know. It might have worked out for the better, it also might have turned for the worse. I'll never know.

'Fears' and 'Plans,' they are both possibilities. Yes, there is mighty chance that it can happen both ways. Why not choose the better of the two? Why not choose what your heart's desire is? Why not choose something that will make you happy? Why not choose something that you know will be good for you in the end?

So, now, tell me, what's stopping you?