Monday, November 30, 2009
I find myself unable to answer questions thrown at me by people who seem to know me more than I do myself. I'm tired of racking my brains just to save myself of the humiliation of having to prove myself to myself.
Life is a short and long journey, depending on how you live it. Life is a process, it has a beginning, a middle and an ending. You cannot skip one part just to move on to the next. You have to go along all the steps to fulfill your ultimate destiny.
One discovers things day by day. Uncovering new and wonderful rarities, unleashing hidden potentials.
I am as yet undiscovered. I'd like to think that way. For tomorrow brings forth another page of my story yet untold.
How long then do I have to get stuck in this state of limbo?
Well then I guess, it's forever and a day. =)
Monday, September 21, 2009
moments come and go.
minutes pass me by.
days become nights.
all becomes cold.
just when you are getting the grasp of things, they seem to disappear into thin air.
what is wrong with me? i ask.
what is wrong with you? i wonder.
when all is well and good. doubt comes in.
when nothing seems right. you heave a sigh.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
-Commuting every morning with my huggable sis!
-Hearing senti songs/ songs of my adolescence while riding the jeepney.
-Being able to finish a book.
-Fanticism mode of lil sis. She is contagious.
-When I get to make progress.
-Bonding mode with co-workers.
-Cher! Cher! greetings from the students.
-Sundays with my family!
-When the weather is good!
-Getting enough sleep.
-Learning new things.
-Updates from friends.
Monday, September 07, 2009
i'm dragging the days behind me.
sluggishly going through life in a dazed state.
sometimes an unknown force would smack me in the head,
and for a time i'd snap back to reality.
only to go back to my muddled cosmos,
indefinitely convinced it's all a dream.
Friday, July 17, 2009
1. When I tell you... or tell myself: I'll take a 5 minute nap. Don't believe me, that means I'm good as gone for the night. Seriously. It' a newfound talent, aside from the one where I can sleep through a movie in the moviehouse.
2. I had an encounter with the other side. (Clearly heard the screeching of one of the heavy wooden chairs on cemented floor at the office before leaving last night. Confirmed by my officemate so it cannot be blamed on drunken tiredness. It is creepy, I tell you.)
3. What makes me happy? It's the ultimate question I have a hard time answering right now.
4. My indecisiveness is driving me nuts. It's as evident now as ever. And it sucks bigtime.
5. I'm turning into a certified anti-social. I'm sorry my dear friends... I can't get myself in the mood to keep in touch. What the...? You tell me, what is wrong with me? Argh!
6. I'd like to stay in my personal bubble for a week. This freak me out.
7. Some parents are just so hard to converse with. They use all their inherent power to intimidate you. And I cringe and hold my breath before dialing the number. Although, some are plain nice. There are still exceptions to keep me sane, thank goodness.
8. Kids. Children. Love. =)
9. I've decided to bum around for the day. Sue me but I'm sticking to the plan. Haha. =p
10. I have certain fixations and phases which I would not go about explaining because you probably wouldn't understand anyway. Last one is in plastic covering all my books, it lessens my stress level. Weird, I know.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
1. I don't want to admit that I'm kinda having a hard time right now.
2. It sucks that I can't talk to you without you getting mad. -What's the matter with you? Your PMS phase should have a break.
3. I should definitely be sleeping right now than doing this.
4. Or I should be doing tons of other stuff that I really should be doing instead of this. Crap.
5. Children are so soooo cute. =)
6. Winnie the pooh is not for boys.
-One mother asked her daughter what gift wrapper design she'd like. The daughter adorably answered: Winnie the pooh! =) Mother replied: Ano ka ba? Panlalaki yun eh! (What are you? That's for boys!)
-What the heck? Since when did winnie the pooh become stereotyped as a boy's cartoon character?
7. I want ice cream. and the twisted series. and... tons of other stuff... (redundancy is a sickness)
8. Bad me. Really bad me.
9. I'm confused. Uber confused.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
i apologize. it's just that...
i'm too afraid to let you go.
i felt betrayed you didn't let me know.
i'm ashamed to have trusted you.
i wonder what other lies you have with you.
right now, i can't bear to look you in the eye,
and see that you are not the same person i thought you were.
it's too sad that i put such esteem and faith in you.
yet, all along you played me with your innocent smile.
i can't believe you anymore.
i never thought this day would come.
i was too foolish and naive to admit it would.
eventually, it would.
just as the rain continue to pour without my heed.
just as the clock continue to tick with every second.
just as the sun continue to shine without my command.
just as the tears continue to fall with every heartache.
just as tomorrow contnues to come without hesitation.
some things you never can stop.
no matter how hard you try.
it would happen.
and sadly, it has.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
hapi maders dey mommy! ilabyu! ♥♥♥
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
let me take you to my yellow dreams
where sunsets signify beginnings
and sunrise endings.
where sunflowers and daisies
line up the streets in neat lines.
where rainy days are nonexistent
and gloomy days are banned.
where hands are clasped when walking
and fingers crossed when running.
where all are sweet and nice and lovely
because there exist where none exists.
and that was the day i met you
my soulmate and destiny till yonder
bind us together.
28apr09 7:04pm (tues.)
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Salamats Inday! The best ka talaga! Ikaw na lagi ko isasama! Ahahahaha. Sana may next time pa kahit ayaw mo na..hehe.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Walking along paved roads
in solitary mode, drowned by
the sudden crowd amidst the
milky air, I scanned every face I
encountered to no avail since
eyes were downcast, keeping to
themselves their untold
secrets, just when I started
giving up, I chanced upon your
hazel eyes, it lingered a second
or two longer-like a heartbeat...
without hestitation, and then I felt that
in the vastness of the universe, my
solitariness broke its routinary
mode, the rhythmic cycle halted
for a second
thanks to you.
*kanina habang nagaantay matawag for testing. nag-adik at sumulat ng tula.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Back off. Stalker like mode.
Dark shades. Music down low.
Epitome of a new morrow.
Who to care? for another meager's life.
Nosy nose above closed books.
Searching for the needle in the fields of h-a-y.
Back off stranger!
Mind your own beeswax.
Waste some time.
Be a worry wart of your own busy world.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
raging shouts echoes in solitary air,
surrounding a heavy heart.
silent cries of helplessness,
midway into a deserted sanctuary.
as fairytales gets snatched.
pretty princess in despair,
as the clock strikes 12:00.
magical carriage and enchanting appearance,
in a flash warps back to reality.
*puro nega nalang ang posts ko. pero i feel at home writing about loneliness. weird ko. haha. yan kasi lagi lumalabas tuwing susulat ako. sabi ko pa naman masaya na dapat post ko since puro kadramahan na lang these past few days pero can't help that which flow naturally.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
compulsions escalating to obsessions,
as the id, ego and superego battle it out.
tearing one from the other,
where intellect and will become a messy blur.
where one is left behind,
tear stricken and alone.
deceived by worldly schemes,
and promises of perpetual happiness.
*Holy Week. Maundy Thursday. Reflection on Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the cross. Dying for our sins. Our endless sins and ungrateful nature. His mercy abounds forever. Do not be blinded. What choice do we make?
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Monday, April 06, 2009
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Sunday, March 29, 2009
I'm feeling a bit cynical...
It happens all the time. When I'm enjoying myself or when I'm feeling a bit too happy, somebody else feels entirely opposite to the situation.
Sending me a slap in the face to stop the illusion of happiness.
~So, that said. I won't elaborate on the "superficial" cause of my joy a moment ago. But, super cute. Yun lang. =p
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Just received the best graduation gift!!! Thanks to my pretty sisters!!!
Hawak ko na ang pinapangarap! Hahaha. Can't take the smile off my face... =)
*The timex paperbag illusion got me...lol. Didn't really expect it...well, maybe a little. =p Hehe. ~Sighs in happiness. =D ~Wants to give somebody a tight hug even though you are literally milesss away...I owe you one big tight hug! =) ~Uber thanks to my "eat all you can queen" of a sister! You made my day! Enough na nga you garlic rice + chicken barbeque experience..haha. Pero syempre di ko to tatanggihan..lol. ~Happy that I am with my family this very special day, kahit kulang na kulang pero sakto pa din! Love you all! =)
*A tad of regret resides in me as each graduate with latin honors is recognized on stage. I could have made it. Could have. I'm sorry for disappointing a few important people. Admittedly even myself. This just moves me to try harder and look at the future with brighter eyes! If not now, there is still tomorrow, so fear not! =)
*Aside from that, I recall having misty eyes while watching the end of the video presentation (leaving the university through the arc of the century..hayz)... finally, I am a graduate... and as Fr. Tamerlane Lana exclaims.. "What now?" The question that has been bugging since school ended, exclaimed to reality. Lord, help me! ~.~ And so the journey begins...
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
ang vase pag nabasag, kahit ilang beses mo pang pilit pagdikitin, mahahalata mo pa din ang lamat. hindi na ito babalik sa dati nitong ganda. katulad ng vase na nabasag ang maraming bagay, pilit mang itago ang nakaraan, pilit mang ibalik ang dati nang nakasanayan, hindi mapagkakaila ang pagbabago naganap at ang epekto nito sa persepsyon ng maraming tao.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
kung ika'y papipiliin
kung ako o sila...?
marahil ang sagot ko nung makalawa
ay siyempre ako.
ano pa nga ba?
pero bigla akong natauhan
na niloloko ko lang pala ang sarili ko.
ilang buwan na ba tayong di nagkikita?
ilang linggo? ilang araw?
ilang minuto? ilang segundo?
sa isang taon na nakalipas,
ilang beses pa lang ba tayong nagkita?
at malamang ang ibig lamang ipahiwatig nito,
ay di na ko parte ng mundong ginagalawan mo.
mahirap tanggapin. magkaiba na pala tayo.
nahihirapan ka nang isiksik ako sa puno mong schedule.
tanggap ko na.
sana masaya ka.
sana minsan sa isang taon,
maalala mo pa din ang pinagsamahan natin.
at kung sakaling iwan ka nila,
o di kaya'y nagsawa na kayo sa isa't isa,
andito pa din ako.
tatanggapin ka ng walang pasabi.
ngingiti lang ako, tulad ng dati.
sabay sabi: oi musta na?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
/ice cream lover/occasional bookworm/aspiring poetry writer/wacky unpredictable sister/true blue practicing roman catholic/late bloomer eheads fanatic/budding pupil follower/otaku/escapist adventurer/accidental daydreamer/member of the NBSB club/possible heterophobia/crazy over *** at the moment/dying to have an mp3 or an mp4/ lost her cellphone twice/left without notice by ---/fears weird techno sounds/wouldn't dare watch a horror movie alone/ hardcore sleep goddess/sticker happy/stuck in the puberty stage/attempting to start and have a life/salivates over junk food/can have chicken as her everyday meal/so not into sports/kleptomaniac in her past life/vanity strikes with camera shots/spotted all over/once had a gangztah crush/alcohol drugs and smoke free/can't keep up with 'em/mulling over l.i.f.e./born romantic/amateur at crossing streets and highways/wants to be kissed in the rain someday/has a pair of sandals, a pair of rubber shoes, a pair of leather shoes and a pair of slippers/scared of being caught red handed/corny joker/loves corn/had undergone a minor surgery/fears breast cancer/scared of ronald mcdonald and his relatives/is positive that dora is her sister's look alike/has "inday" as her roommate/has four faithful bestfriends/discovered her microphone phobia during a karaoke session/grew up with paper dolls/loves the stars/soul lost in the clouds of yesterday and tomorrow/"with a smile" is her current lullaby song/
*Format and concept taken from the blog of an acquaintance. Or not so acquaintance. Maybe I forgot to include "sporadic copy cat." or not! lol.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
drives me wild.
caressing my being,
without the slightest touch.
luring me closer,
and closer still.
replaying the echo,
over and over.
i could stay like this
blow my mind,
with the sound of your
*parang kanta lang. hehe. song lyrics can be a form of poetry naman di ba. i'm on a roll! common! pagbigyan na. (wag na lang magreact nung may alam ng pinaguugatan nito. haha. shhh..>.<)
far away into the blue skies.
into the galactic universe...
of your imagination.
i could stay like this forever...
if you would only hold me tighter.
i close my eyes...
everything melts away.
you and i...
you and i...
you and i.
in ecstatic fantasy...
of ever after.
*watta title?! hala. hehe. sorry kung yung iba nagdoodoodle. ako naman nagscriscribble. ng kung anu anu.
Friday, March 13, 2009
of stained beauty.
of mere accusations.
*grabeh, may nangyari na naman today. the poem says it all. although, im pretty sure no one would really understand the meaning beneath those words.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
So I'm telling myself to stop right now.
As in. NOW.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
embrace my Silhouette.
Budding emotions and
double edged swords.
Flashing smiles and
Waiting for the break of dawn.
Till the moonlight casts its
So will my heart rests in
Unbroken chains are what I aim.
A broken heart I bear.
*Just thought of coming up with a poem to check if my creative juices are still on the ooze. Hmmm. Watcha think? Hayz. I suddenly begin to miss writing.
Agenda Two: just when you least expect something to happen, something unexpected would definitely find its way to you. well, that's what happened to a friend. she's still working things out. if i were in her place i would definitely freak out! imagine, not being able to graduate just because of an honest mistake. one subject which she attended religiously and has fulfilled all requirements for was overlooked and was not enrolled and encoded. what?! you say. she's still working things out and i pray that she does get pass through this. she has worked so hard to tighten loose ends and now this! but maybe it's just a trial and a good reason for it. let's cross our fingers that all will end as it should be.
Agenda Three: i attended the recent eraserheads: the final set concert (thanks super duper my friend who gave me two free tickets as a gift!!!), and it was definitely more than worth it. i tell you, i wasn't really a fan or whatsoever, i just knew some of their songs but as the concert came to a close, well, i was close to being one. hayz. artists inspire fellow artists to aspire. what? haha. anyway, i just love people who have the passion and enthusiasm to create. they pull you and hypnotize you, at the same time, they push you to face the world and just dare! whoo! one more thing...me and my sister thinks that the lead singer definitely has his appeal. haha.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
It's like I'm losing vigor at the thought of not being able to accomplish the task. And it's honestly got me into thinking if I should be pursuing this or not.
But I feel I want this and that I want this to be for me. Hayz. I also hope that this might be what God wants for me.
Classes has ended yet my life seems to kick in a bit more. I have not started the so called "resting phase" and I also haven't officially declared the start of the summer! Oh. Yes. I do my own rest! periodsssss... which should not have occured just yet but well it can't be helped, I'm human after all and I also need rest.
Also, since I'm about to enter the world of work sooner than later. It has got me reflecting about a lot of things and issues. For now, I just hope that all goes well. Pray for me. I need it!
*Funny how God works in the most mysterious ways. How he creeps in and just sweeps you away with his unexpected reminders. I was asking a lot of my friends to pray for me these days and one of them replied through text... "ikaw din wg mu kalimutan to pray." As simple as that, God reminded me to prioritize my own prayer time with Him. I was left both a tad guilty but with a smile since I felt loved. For Him to have time to remind me these things when I often can't make time for Him.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
-Carol Burnett (1936)
*A great quote on writing. So true. People sometimes just give meaning to whatever it is you write and whether they are right or wrong is no longer in the hands of the writer, but on how the words printed are understood.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Well, on to my commentary..haha... Another unspecial V-day coming up. haha. My friends often tease me about being too uninterested with the opposite sex. Hmmm, I wouldn't totally say that I'm 100% uninterested, rather the famous line comes in.."I just don't see it as a priority... yet?" haha. "And anyway, nobody seems to be interested at the moment."
I don't believe in seeking for love... it will come, if it's God's will, it will come. I see myself both ways, and in whatever path I will be chosen to take, I'll be happy as long as I have someone/somebody to care for...=) Since, I'm also a graduating student, my stream of thought lead me into wanting a job wherein I can both do apostolate and be of service.
I'm getting more and more personal nowadays. Don't mind me. Random thoughts are spilling itself everywhere. I'm in danger of being fully revealed. Hahaha.
I want to pour my love unto You!
Thesis Defense on Tuesday Afternoon. Tuesday is D-day!!! Wah! Please pray for us! Thanks!..^.^
Still tons and piles of work to do... Neverending nga daw, but somehow I feel that when all these end...I'll miss it! Because the end of these things signifies the end of another chapter.
Letting go even if one isn't ready yet is a fact of life.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
*make no room for deadly mistakes. it will cost you.
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
something i realized just a few days ago.
it may seem an elementary philosophy that everyone knows, but truly we take it for granted a bit too much.
i just realized that there are many important things that i should do justice by treating them as such. most of the time, i get out of hand and am out of my senses.
most of the time, i hurt people and pass out opportunities. most of the time, things don't work out well and instead of stopping it at that and standing back up again, i prolong the agony and make things worse. but i resolve to do better and struggle a bit more. kambatte! >.<
just another day.
just another time.
just another second.
if things be, i'll hold your hand a little longer.
hug you a little tighter.
laugh a little louder.
let me say it's okay.
let me say your right.
let me say i'm sorry straight from my heart.
i want to let things be.
forget all the evil.
and smile the tears away.
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
1. Beer: not for me..~.~
2. Food: yummy! - i can hear my stomach growl right now. >.<
3. Relationships: waiting. haha.
4. Your CRUSH: none at the moment. i think. O.o
5. Power Rangers: childhood. ako si yellow o si pink?
6. Life: whirlwind.
7. The President: petite
8. Yummy: cantonese!!! haha. and ice cream and... ang dami nila!
9. Cars: want one. hihi.
10. Movie: Sleepless in Seattle. Till now di pa din natutuloy ang panunuod ng dvd with fam. dami aberya. haha.
11. Halloween: ooohhhh..
12. Sex: escapades around me. O.o
13. Religion: Catholic. Now and always. =)
14. Hate: sleepless nights and headaches. -.-
15. Fear: the bleak tomorrow. W.w
16. Marriage: precious and sacred.
17. Blondes: um, their blonde?
18. Slippers: comfy! ;p
19. Shoes: heels..haha. courtesy of my ojtmates. bleh!
20. Asians: i can identify with. hihi.
21. Past time: reading, net, sleeping, eating...haha.
22. One night stand: what?!
23. My Cell Phone: practically practical.
24. Smoke: cough, cough...don't come near...
25. Fantasy: foodlandia...?
26. College: the thesis hurdle. wahk!
27. Highschool Life: few but precious memories..
28. Pajamas: sleepy me. -.-Zzz...
29. Stars: hope.
30. Fitness Center: i might need it some time..but hopefully not.haha.
31. Alcohol: scared to be intoxicated.
32. The word love: smiles.
33. Friends: laughtrip. =)
34. Money: necessity..-.-
35. Heartache: hurts..
36. Time: grasping.
37. Divorce: sad.
38. Dogs: cute.
39. Undies: hmmmm..supposed to be concealed.
40. Parents: gratitude..
41. Babies: kawaii!
42. Ex: wala ko nun.
43. Song: lalalalala...
44. Color: white, blue and red.
45. Weddings: magical.
46. Pizza: sbarro...white.yum.
47. Hangout: uste.lib,thesismate's condo.
48. Restaurant: Napoli's.
49. Goal: case reportssssss... thesis paper and defense.
50. Inspiration: family..and God.~.~
*seems unlikely for me to post something like this. guess i just needed a breather. thesis makes me go crazy right now. haha.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
telling me that tomorrow is another unknown day,
that the future may be bleak or bright depending on how you look at it,
that some things are never for long,
the things you want, ending too soon and the things you dread, never seem to end,
that things continue on even without you,
that it is a nice feeling anticpating something,
but also quite frustrating when the waiting is too long,
that there is hope,
that even though tomorrow seems too scary,
the better and only choice is always to move on.
*more days are coming to an end. still more days are coming...