Bummer! As always!

I'm feeling a bit cynical... 

It happens all the time. When I'm enjoying myself or when I'm feeling a bit too happy, somebody else feels entirely opposite to the situation.

Sending me a slap in the face to stop the illusion of happiness.

*Sighs*

~So, that said. I won't elaborate on the "superficial" cause of my joy a moment ago. But, super cute. Yun lang. =p

I am a Thomasian Graduate with Unexpected Blessings!

Just received the best graduation gift!!! Thanks to my pretty sisters!!! 

Hawak ko na ang pinapangarap! Hahaha. Can't take the smile off my face... =)

*The timex paperbag illusion got me...lol. Didn't really expect it...well, maybe a little. =p Hehe. ~Sighs in happiness. =D ~Wants to give somebody a tight hug even though you are literally milesss away...I owe you one big tight hug! =) ~Uber thanks to my "eat all you can queen" of a sister! You made my day! Enough na nga you garlic rice + chicken barbeque experience..haha. Pero syempre di ko to tatanggihan..lol. ~Happy that I am with my family this very special day, kahit kulang na kulang pero sakto pa din! Love you all! =)

*A tad of regret resides in me as each graduate with latin honors is recognized on stage. I could have made it. Could have. I'm sorry for disappointing a few important people. Admittedly even myself. This just moves me to try harder and look at the future with brighter eyes! If not now, there is still tomorrow, so fear not! =) 

*Aside from that, I recall having misty eyes while watching the end of the video presentation (leaving the university through the arc of the century..hayz)... finally, I am a graduate... and as Fr. Tamerlane Lana exclaims.. "What now?" The question that has been bugging since school ended, exclaimed to reality. Lord, help me! ~.~ And so the journey begins...

Declaration

I have decided that this moment will really be the start of CHANGE.

Whatever that means, is for me to know and you to find out. =p

shhhh...

I have a secret to tell you..ssshhh...

I'm feeling lonelier everyday and I wonder why.

release

this is my form of release...
venomous words seeps out my tongue,
poisonous yet untouched.

lamat

ang vase pag nabasag, kahit ilang beses mo pang pilit pagdikitin, mahahalata mo pa din ang lamat. hindi na ito babalik sa dati nitong ganda. katulad ng vase na nabasag ang maraming bagay, pilit mang itago ang nakaraan, pilit mang ibalik ang dati nang nakasanayan, hindi mapagkakaila ang pagbabago naganap at ang epekto nito sa persepsyon ng maraming tao. 

terpretni

my own words choke me.

wanting me to turn mute.

turn down the music.

i cannot hear you.

sound waves reverberate,

sending wrong signals.

i'm misinterpreted.

again and again.

 

second best

kung ika'y papipiliin

kung ako o sila...?

marahil ang sagot ko nung makalawa

ay siyempre ako.

ano pa nga ba?

pero bigla akong natauhan

na niloloko ko lang pala ang sarili ko.

ilang buwan na ba tayong di nagkikita?

ilang linggo? ilang araw?

ilang minuto? ilang segundo?

sa isang taon na nakalipas,

ilang beses pa lang ba tayong nagkita?

isa.

oo, isa.

at malamang ang ibig lamang ipahiwatig nito,

ay di na ko parte ng mundong ginagalawan mo.

mahirap tanggapin. magkaiba na pala tayo.

magkaiba na.

nahihirapan ka nang isiksik ako sa puno mong schedule.

tanggap ko na.

sana masaya ka.

sana minsan sa isang taon, 

maalala mo pa din ang pinagsamahan natin.

at kung sakaling iwan ka nila,

o di kaya'y nagsawa na kayo sa isa't isa,

andito pa din ako.

tatanggapin ka ng walang pasabi.

ngingiti lang ako, tulad ng dati.

sabay sabi: oi musta na?

namiss kita...

About me:

/ice cream lover/occasional bookworm/aspiring poetry writer/wacky unpredictable sister/true blue practicing roman catholic/late bloomer eheads fanatic/budding pupil follower/otaku/escapist adventurer/accidental daydreamer/member of the NBSB club/possible heterophobia/crazy over *** at the moment/dying to have an mp3 or an mp4/ lost her cellphone twice/left without notice by ---/fears weird techno sounds/wouldn't dare watch a horror movie alone/ hardcore sleep goddess/sticker happy/stuck in the puberty stage/attempting to start and have a life/salivates over junk food/can have chicken as her everyday meal/so not into sports/kleptomaniac in her past life/vanity strikes with camera shots/spotted all over/once had a gangztah crush/alcohol drugs and smoke free/can't keep up with 'em/mulling over l.i.f.e./born romantic/amateur at crossing streets and highways/wants to be kissed in the rain someday/has a pair of sandals, a pair of rubber shoes, a pair of leather shoes and a pair of slippers/scared of being caught red handed/corny joker/loves corn/had undergone a minor surgery/fears breast cancer/scared of ronald mcdonald and his relatives/is positive that dora is her sister's look alike/has "inday" as her roommate/has four faithful bestfriends/discovered her microphone phobia during a karaoke session/grew up with paper dolls/loves the stars/soul lost in the clouds of yesterday and tomorrow/"with a smile" is her current lullaby song/

*Format and concept taken from the blog of an acquaintance. Or not so acquaintance. Maybe I forgot to include "sporadic copy cat." or not! lol.

euphoric invitation

your melodic voice,
drives me wild.

caressing my being,
without the slightest touch.

luring me closer,
and closer still.

replaying the echo,
over and over.

i could stay like this
forever...

blow my mind,
with the sound of your

melancholic voice.

*parang kanta lang. hehe. song lyrics can be a form of poetry naman di ba. i'm on a roll! common! pagbigyan na. (wag na lang magreact nung may alam ng pinaguugatan nito. haha. shhh..>.<)

musings of an intoxicated lover

you take me far away...
far away into the blue skies.

into the galactic universe...
of your imagination.

i could stay like this forever...
if you would only hold me tighter.

i close my eyes...
everything melts away.

you and i...
you and i...


you and i.

in ecstatic fantasy...
of ever after.

*watta title?! hala. hehe. sorry kung yung iba nagdoodoodle. ako naman nagscriscribble. ng kung anu anu.

the queen of attribution

slipped through my hands,
shattered glass.

reflection mirrored,
of stained beauty.

automatic reflex,
of bewitchment.

appealing stance,
of mere accusations.

external perfection,
seemingly maintained.

beware scattered,
fatal crystals.


*grabeh, may nangyari na naman today. the poem says it all. although, im pretty sure no one would really understand the meaning beneath those words.

The Internet...

...can make you waste your time tremendously. And that is what it has been doing to me ever since this morning. Hmph. So many applications and other stuff to keep you amused... (Blog/s - hehe, obviously; Social networking sites - facebook, friendster, multiply, plurk, the list goes on and on; Online game sites - neopets, mydivadoll, etc.; Online streaming sites - crunchyroll, mysoju, dramacrazy, youtube and more; Your Email - going through each will take you centuries, literally, and many many other things). No looking at the clock and the next glance and you're in for a shock as to how much time has already passed. That and the fact that I cannot do much walking and moving around. So I'm literally stuck in one place for a period of time. It feels like I'm repeating my woes all over again. Oh men.

So I'm telling myself to stop right now.

As in. NOW.

Zip it!

Concealed Glimmer

Shadows bound and
embrace my Silhouette.
Budding emotions and
double edged swords.
Flashing smiles and
silly lies.
Waiting for the break of dawn.

Till the moonlight casts its
hidden light.
So will my heart rests in
burying ardor.
Unbroken chains are what I aim.
A broken heart I bear.

*Just thought of coming up with a poem to check if my creative juices are still on the ooze. Hmmm. Watcha think? Hayz. I suddenly begin to miss writing.

Agenda: One, Two and Three!!!

Agenda One: the second toe of my right foot got infected. and it's red and swollen. wah! i can't walk straight cause it hurts oh so much! *sobs* hayz! so i'm stuck one place at a time. hope it heals soon! and by soon i mean soon as in tomorrow? hmph. please!?

Agenda Two: just when you least expect something to happen, something unexpected would definitely find its way to you. well, that's what happened to a friend. she's still working things out. if i were in her place i would definitely freak out! imagine, not being able to graduate just because of an honest mistake. one subject which she attended religiously and has fulfilled all requirements for was overlooked and was not enrolled and encoded. what?! you say. she's still working things out and i pray that she does get pass through this. she has worked so hard to tighten loose ends and now this! but maybe it's just a trial and a good reason for it. let's cross our fingers that all will end as it should be.

Agenda Three: i attended the recent eraserheads: the final set concert (thanks super duper my friend who gave me two free tickets as a gift!!!), and it was definitely more than worth it. i tell you, i wasn't really a fan or whatsoever, i just knew some of their songs but as the concert came to a close, well, i was close to being one. hayz. artists inspire fellow artists to aspire. what? haha. anyway, i just love people who have the passion and enthusiasm to create. they pull you and hypnotize you, at the same time, they push you to face the world and just dare! whoo! one more thing...me and my sister thinks that the lead singer definitely has his appeal. haha.

F and R... frustrations and realizations

Instead of writing a report I should be doing, here I am, posting a blog entry instead.

It's like I'm losing vigor at the thought of not being able to accomplish the task. And it's honestly got me into thinking if I should be pursuing this or not.

But I feel I want this and that I want this to be for me. Hayz. I also hope that this might be what God wants for me.

Classes has ended yet my life seems to kick in a bit more. I have not started the so called "resting phase" and I also haven't officially declared the start of the summer! Oh. Yes. I do my own rest! periodsssss... which should not have occured just yet but well it can't be helped, I'm human after all and I also need rest.

Also, since I'm about to enter the world of work sooner than later. It has got me reflecting about a lot of things and issues. For now, I just hope that all goes well. Pray for me. I need it!

*Funny how God works in the most mysterious ways. How he creeps in and just sweeps you away with his unexpected reminders. I was asking a lot of my friends to pray for me these days and one of them replied through text... "ikaw din wg mu kalimutan to pray." As simple as that, God reminded me to prioritize my own prayer time with Him. I was left both a tad guilty but with a smile since I felt loved. For Him to have time to remind me these things when I often can't make time for Him.

writing

Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
-Carol Burnett (1936)

*A great quote on writing. So true. People sometimes just give meaning to whatever it is you write and whether they are right or wrong is no longer in the hands of the writer, but on how the words printed are understood.